Why & how often do men come back after leaving a relationship? Why would an ex come back?
If your ex isn’t clear on exactly what has actually changed and why they desire you back, they’re simply feeling lonely. Why do exes come back might have an easy answer: it’s hard to go from holding a partner-in-crime to arranging everything solo.
Solitude is hard and could be more unpleasant than the break-up itself.
You might suggest they download Tinder or take on a young puppy instead.
Lover back into the picture…
When an ex-lover comes back right into the picture, you have every right to doubt their purposes– specifically if they were the one to break up with you.
You have actually finally unfollowed them on Instagram.
You are no longer sobbing on your pizza regularly at 3 a.m.
You have actually erased them from your life (and your phone).
Then– boom, un-ghosted.
They’re back; they are haunting you, as well, as you have no concept why.
Just how can you tell if they really still like you or if they are just burnt out?
When an ex-spouse returns into your life saying they want you back, it’s a great deal.
The suggestion could be music to your ears, or it could make you want to transfer to Europe.
While in a partnership, we create a physical addiction for our partners that makes us want to be connected.
Typically, that neurological wish is not truly about wishing to be with your ex-lover.
The ex might be returning because they have trouble adapting to the single life instead of missing you notably.
Suppose all he can say is ‘I’ve simply truly missed you’ without defining specifically what he misses.
In that case, he’s still just reeling from the loss and just wants you back to remove that pain.
Frequently Asked Questions
You are not the only one feeling like your ex isn’t paying attention to you. You have all the cues and the emotions that come along with being gone. The absence of the other person is not a good feeling.
Because they are afraid of the future, they are worried that they will become “less,” and they are scared that the only thing that will “matter” is what they have got, and they are afraid of change.
There is no perfect relationship that will ever be the same. No matter how arduous you work to make it work, you may find yourself wanting to speak to your ex at a distance. Perhaps it’s just a desire to say hi or make small talk. Maybe it’s because they’ve missed you.
It means that you are on the road to forgiveness. It has been a long road, and it will continue to be a long road, but it’s a road worth taking. The path is a gentle one, and it’s paved with sincere words and good intentions. It has many twists and turns, requiring many travel warnings, but it’s a path worth taking.
This is one of the burning questions that I repeatedly get from people who have tried ignoring their ex for a while, and it still hurts when they are around. It is a pain of not being heard or respected.
Sometimes, exes come back to re-establish dominance. After divorce, the ex-wife often may have the children taken away from her. If the ex-husband was the breadwinner, this leads to conflict. If the ex-husband was not the breadwinner, he might feel it is too dangerous to allow the kids to be left alone with the ex-wife. He will come back trying to regain that breadwinner role.
Well, it is a natural reaction that we all have when we are hurt. I know it’s challenging to come back to something that you are pretty sure is irrevocably broken. It’s also tough to come back when you are sure you have moved on with your life. You need to be able to decide whether your ex has changed or you have changed.
Act Out – The Best Way to Trust Your Ex
I like to use fundamental ideas and simple tools, strategies that you can use.
If you thought I would talk about your ex-dog, ex’s ex, or whats-his-face, you were wrong.
It’s never ever a good idea to talk about that stuff, ever. Ever.
The best way to get your ex-boyfriend back is, one, don’t talk about that stuff, and, two, don’t worry about your ex-dog, your ex’s ex, or the likes-the-dislikes of your ex.
All that matters is that the two of you are both happy in the relationship.
I’m going to suggest a few other things you can use to get back into your relationship.
1. Talk about those little things that matter to your ex.
I would suggest talking about how much they mean to you, and I’m sure they feel the same way about you, but it’s not a good idea to talk about that stuff on the phone.
It’s probably best not to talk about that either unless you both have a good amount of trust in one another.
I’m sure they won’t mind.
2. Keep in touch.
I’m sure it wasn’t the best idea to call them and say you have to go, you are just on the phone with them, which was why you called.
Still, I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you called to say something was wrong.
I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you called to say something, and I’m sure they wouldn’t mind if you called to say it’s been a few days, that was why you called, and so on.
3. I’m not a fan of telling my mom about the break-up…
…but I would love to tell her that I’m planning on getting back together.
They would probably give me the cold shoulder, but I would feel like it’s all worth it.
They would probably tell me to go tell my wife about the break-up, and that was why I called them.
4. Keep up with your friends and hang out with them, and have some good times.
It keeps in with the community, and the good feeling wouldn’t hurt.
I’m sure they would prefer that; that would probably ease them into it.
5. I would suggest you keep up with the family and the friends.
I am sure it wouldn’t hurt.
I’m not sure if you should tell them or not.
If you tell them, they will probably say something to you like it’s no big deal.
That would probably make your ex feel better.
They would probably tell you to take out the trash, and that would probably make them feel better too.
That could hurt them, but in the end, it could help you.
Suppose you could go back and re-watch the phone calls you made to your ex and the time it took.
In that case, you could probably figure out what you were feeling and see if you could act out differently, and probably it will help the next time, which could help you in the long run.
It could really work.
Why do exes pop back up? Do insecure exes come back?
Just a few things to think about when you are thinking about breaking up with your girlfriend or boyfriend.
You could act out and make your ex jealous.
Do not do this.
It might cause them to back away, and that would help you. Remember, they don’t want you to act out. You could act out, you know, get out of control, beat your chest, yell, whatever, but do not act out.
If you act out, they will probably stop talking to you, and you will probably not want to talk to them anyway.
Sometimes a call might seem like the better way out, but do not do this.
Act out, but act out gently, and act out of love, and act out as you wish.
There is no wrong way to act out.
Let them ask you questions, but do not ask them questions.
Just act out. If you feel uncomfortable, act out gently, but act out.
You could call them and act out, as well, and they might still ask you questions.
You could ask them questions to protect yourself, so you don’t do it very often.
If they are really great to you, you might not want to act out.
If they are not great, you might not want to act out because they wouldn’t want you anyway.
So you might do this when you feel uncomfortable.
You have to be yourself. Act out without drama, but act out in a way that you feel is honest and true to you.
But then the best way, really, is to keep writing and sending messages and not act out.
This will build trust.
And then you are both trusting each other, and you know that you can call and act out, and that will be fine, too.
Act out, but don’t act out often, and do not act out if you are uncomfortable.
Act out if you are comfortable.
The more you act out, the more you can trust each other.
But don’t act out too much because then you might lose trust.
But you can do this, gradually.
It takes time to build trust.
Trust is built slowly, step by step.
And then it will be much more secure, and it will be much more likely to last.
Why do exes come back? Did they have a plan?
This is for anyone looking to get an ex back.
May it be your ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, ex-wife, ex-husband, or ex-fiance.
A plan will give you something to look forward to when feeling down and unsure about yourself.
A plan will provide you with hope.
Here are some of the most common blunders people make when trying to get their ex-boyfriend, ex-husband back.
The most important thing to remember about getting your ex back is that you need to get your feelings and emotions under control.
It would be best if you did not let your emotions take over your mind.
Your emotions will not only affect how you act towards your ex but also yourself.
When you feel the slightest tinge of regret, it will cause you to do things that will shift your ex further away from you.
That is not what you want.
So when you feel regret, you should immediately stop and try to rectify it immediately.
Don’t try to hold on to your feelings.
The worst thing you can do is to act like you don’t have feelings.
No one wants to be dumped again.
Your ex has moved on, and it is time to rekindle your relationship.
If you feel resentment, jealousy, anger, depression, or any other negative emotions, stay away from your ex until you control those emotions.
If you get upset, angry, or depressed, your ex will feel more alone and eventually follow suit.
It is essential to let your ex know how you feel (if you’re wondering if your ex will come back, read more here; click the link).
Show how you are feeling.
Also, say how much you miss your ex.
Also, tell your ex that you are sorry that the two of you can’t be together.
The more you tell your ex how you feel, the more positive thoughts they will have, and they will be attracted to you again.
It is also important to tell your ex that you are trying to get back with them.
You can also try to change your ex-partner’s feelings.
You can act like you are new in the relationship.
Say how happy you are with yourself.
If you do this correctly, your ex-partner will start to feel good about themselves.
They will begin to feel like their own person is back.
As your ex starts to feel good, your ex-partner will start to be attracted to you again. This way you can have a new and happier experience together.
The best thing you can do if you want to keep the bond you had before is always to compliment your ex.
A nice thing to do is to compliment your ex every time you talk to them.
Also, compliment your ex if you see them in public.
Tell them how beautiful they look.
When they do something nice for you, say that you love it.
If your ex does something to help you, say that you appreciate it.
Also, tell them that they are a great person. Also, tell them that you love them.
You can also try to write letters to your ex.
If you want to write a letter:
- Tell them that.
- Say that you are going to write another letter.
- Give them a pen and paper so that they can write it down.
- Would you please give them a blank piece of paper? You can write a love letter.
Giving your ex a letter will help to improve the connection between the two of you.
Your letter will remind your ex of how much you care.
Finally, you can also give them a present.
A present can be an ornament or a bracelet.
A gift can show your ex that you care. Also, it will help to improve your relationship if you give your ex a present (more about exes here and here; click the links, and they will open new windows in your pre-existent browser).
There is no perfect way to make your marriage or relationship great again.
Just remember that you never want to go through marriage again if it is unhappy.
If it is a bad marriage, then it may be bad for a long time.
The most important thing is to fix your marriage.
If it is a good marriage, then there is no reason to get rid of it.
Achieving Your Ex’s Wish – How to Get Your Ex Back
But what if there’s a guy out there who really wants you back?
What if he’s also looking for a second date?
Learning how to get your ex back is all about finding out what you’ve missed in your relationship and what you’ve gained.
You may have gone too far, so it’s time to pull back.
This means listening to yourself.
You must know what you’ve done to put your ex’s mind to thinking about you.
This is the difference between winning your ex back and getting back with your ex.
If you have really enjoyed your relationship, you’ve been really loving him.
So, if you don’t feel guilty for being too loving to him, it means he is starting to think about you.
He’s considering you in the relationship.
After this is learned, you should avoid doing anything that will push him away.
So, if you find yourself going on and on about what happened at work and how terrible your boss is, and you’ve been the one to yell at him, you can’t do that again.
But if he is starting to think about you, you need to make sure that you tell him about it as soon as possible.
Not everyone can handle hearing about bad behavior from the one they love.
These are the things you must learn to get your ex back (actually, why do exes come back, what makes them feel a stringent need for a previous partner?).
After your ex has heard you out, your ex will be ready to make a move.
Your ex may never make a move, but he’ll be prepared.
Because a guy will want to please his lover.
These are the things that you must learn to get your ex back.
After you’ve been together for a while, your relationship must not end.
It’s time to build on this, learn to take it to the next level.
Take it to the next level means you have to continue seeing your ex after your relationship ends.
So, your bond will have to have at least been two years before you continue to see your ex.
What to do when your ex starts to think about you (actually, why do exes come back?)
The next thing you should learn to get your ex back is what to do when your ex starts to think about you.
I’m not telling you to fill every waking moment with your ex.
I’m just saying you shouldn’t neglect your ex.
So, it would be best if you had other things that he may enjoy, like the gym or the ball game.
The next thing you must learn to get your ex back is not to make him hate you.
There is nothing worse than being friends with your ex, and then he starts to hate you.
It isn’t a person. It’s just his way of revealing how much you bothered him.
Make sure that you let him see that you still exist and your still worth something.
Your ex may still think about you, but that doesn’t mean that he will get in love with you.
Remember, your ex likes to be happy, and he likes to be around people that make him happy.
If he feels too bad for you, he will tell you that he isn’t in love with you.
When he sees that you are a person, not a thing, he will know that you are worth something.
That is the only way to get your ex back.
If you have just been dumped, you know this much.
In fact, are there any reasons exes start immediately a new relationship with someone they barely met? Is there a new partner, fresh relationships necessary?
That is why you must always try to be yourself.
Look through the glass darkly. However, remember that people are different and that your ex may like something different from you.
However, he must always look at you as a person and not as a thing.
So, for instance, if he liked the way you dress, let him see that you wear clothes to make you feel good.
If he fancied your eyes, let him know that you love looking at things.
If he liked your laugh, let him see that you love making jokes and acting.
You must be able to show him, “I am a different person.”
Remember, your ex likes to be around people who make him feel good, and you do that by looking your best and making him feel happy when he is around you.
If your ex is very cruel and very mean…
If your ex is very cruel and very mean, make sure that you understand that this is not the right person for you.
This is the person who has lost touch with their emotions, and your best chance at getting your ex back is to re-connect with your ex and not make him sad and angry (more about this matter, here and here; click the links, and they will open new windows in your existent browser).
Disclaimers. All rights reserved. All photos were used from the “Captiva Collection,” Wedding, Pregnancy People (1), and Romance by David Watson (I’ve got the copyright). The featured image is from Canva; the Instagram quotes come from the Quote Collection; a great thanks to everyone for their work! If you could give me a Twitter share, a Youtube, Instagram, or a Facebook share or other social media, it would help a lot; thanks! An affiliate disclosure is on the disclaimer page, showing that I might make a small commission if you buy through my links.
PS. I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog post, ’Why Do Exes Come Back & Act As Nothing Definitive Happened?’ Please, consider my words and advice as a personal opinion. I am no guru, and, unfortunately, I cannot guarantee happiness (in wealth or marriage, whatever situation; sincerely hoping that your husband or wife will not show any signs interpreted as a divorce premonition or an act of nastier revenge or he/she is coming back to you, soon or maybe never. If you are thinking about serious things, please, see a lawyer; my advice couldn’t in any way replace a qualified legal opinion).