It’s pretty hard to be really monogamous, looking for romantic love, dating one person, not several. Now, you’re torn between two women, and your choice is insecure.
Would you mind spending a few precious moments looking inward at what you are like with each of them?
Choose the lady who brings out the best in you.
The girl who gives you the quality moments.
You are torn between two women. But you love one more than the other.
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If you are struggling through all these emotions while finding it hard to get a hold of the situation, remember that you can accomplish two things here.
First, you can focus on your goal: ending the affair and giving yourself entirely to your lover.
Second, you can realize that your conscience is your ally.
It is telling you that, for the time being, this relationship is a mistake, but that you can not leave it be. You can not stop the affair.
But you can end it while keeping your heart open for the other woman.
You can tell yourself that you are unsure about the direction you want to go in with the affair.
The heart can do this because your head is occupied with your goal.
The soul can say, “I want to feel good again. I want to love again.”
Do you want to avoid losing your love memories after a break-up? Read how to end an affair after intense emotional involvement.
In this way, you can be open to your heart’s guidance.
You can be honest about your concerns.
You can tell yourself that you have to look at the affair as a mistake for the time being.
You can nevertheless be in love with the other woman.
You can still ask your heart what it wants.
Choosing between old love and new love…
The heart wants to feel good again, which means you can tell your heart what you want and need from your paramour.
You can give your lover what your heart desires and needs.
If your paramour is a choice for you, you can tell them what you need from them.
This will involve asking your mistress to listen to your concerns and create a safe environment that helps you with them.
If your paramour is not a choice, you can tell them what you need from them, and they will do that, but not for a while.
The heart wants to know that you have stopped the affair.
The mind wants to know that your lover will not cheat on you.
And your paramour wants to see that you will not leave them to cheat on them.
This is part of moving forward, and this is part of healing.
Caught between two women. I thought about cheating, then realized I could be married to my best friend again.
These things are the heart’s signals.
They are the only signals that they can send to you.
This is what the heart wants to know.
So, what are you willing to do? How do you date two women? How do you choose the right woman?
Are you willing to go through a healing process that involves asking your heart and mind and including your lover?
Are you ready to start the process by calling it quits and leaving your paramour?
Are you willing to go through a process of getting rid of your other relationship, such that your heart is the only one who matters?
Do you know in your heart that your essence wants you to go through the painful process that is the healing process?
If so, you have the wholehearted commitment to healing yourself.
With the heart’s messages in mind, you can know that your healing includes the healing of yourself.
You can commit yourself to the recovery of your deepest pain, the healing of your most profound betrayal, and the healing of your deepest trauma.
Torn between two women. The task of healing…
You can move forward to the task of healing.
Then you can work on the heart messages. And the heart’s statements are imperative.
They are your signals.
You have to take them seriously.
Because if you don’t, you will keep reliving what you know isn’t going to be fixable.
And the heart is telling you that what is not repairable.
So, after you have had the heart’s message in your mind, that means that you have a wholehearted commitment to make the healing process your top priority.
It is your heart’s way of saying, “we need to have a relationship with each other that includes healing.”
Healing means taking responsibility for your recovery.
And after you’ve committed yourself to take responsibility and healing, it doesn’t mean that you give up on the other relationship as you are torn between two women.
It means that you don’t hold the other relationship hostage.
And this may be the most important message that the heart ever sends to you.
It means that you’ve done your best to leave the other relationship in the past. You haven’t made it into the present moment into the future.
And you haven’t started on the healing process.
It means that you are in the present moment, focusing on what is happening right now.
What do you do when you are torn between two women?
So once you have committed to taking responsibility for healing, you commit yourself to be open to the other relationship in the present moment.
This doesn’t mean that you won’t be present to the one you are committed to.
But that you are willing to be present in the ongoing relationship.
And the continuing relationship is, in turn, responsible for the healing that happens in the future.
The future is always in the present.
There is always an opportunity for change and healing.
There is always something new to help us move forward.
Choosing between ex and new girl…
So the heart commits to this healing and this process because it will continue to hold the other relationship in the past, which means that there is always the possibility of the current relationship feeling incomplete or too far gone.
But, the heart commits to healing because it knows that it wants to continue into the future.
It knows that every future imperfection brings another aspect of the future into the present (more on this fascinating matter here and here; click the links, and they will open new windows in your pre-existing browser).
Let me, however, extract a fascinating fragment from the second-mentioned article. It comes with a true-life touch and a lot of wisdom and experience:
“Go with your gut. You can use your head and heart for a number of important decisions, but if the answer is still not obvious to you even after a lot of deliberation, it’s best to trust your gut. Close your eyes and imagine what your life will be like, now and a few years from now. Who do you see yourself with? And most importantly, don’t forget you have a third option: not picking either of them.”
It keeps this present moment open for the new relationship.
It holds the other relationship in the present moment for the future.
And this isn’t about you getting in the middle.
It is about keeping this relationship open and available to be better and more significant with time.
These acts are forbidden. Learn more on how to confront a cheating spouse without suffering any extra and collateral pain.
Frequently Asked Questions
Yes, but it is not easy. You can get the privilege if you get a divorce between your wife and you. But, this is not a good option. It takes time to mend the marriage. And if the divorce is not repaired, then it is going to be difficult for the unborn child to enjoy the privileges.
Some would go crazy and leave the marriage immediately. Others would look for another wife or husband. Some people decide to live apart for several years.
Most of the time, men are simply attracted to beautiful women. Most men find it easy to fall in love with a beautiful woman because it’s difficult to resist her. This is especially true when she is on a mission of making your life better.
There is a difference between them. Love is a feeling, and a feeling is not a duty. When you are crazily in love, you are madly in love, and you have nothing else on your mind. This is true whether you are in the process of getting married or you are already married.
Imagine that you have a choice between walking along a sunny promenade or sitting by a brook that offers shelter from the sun. Would you instead be seated by the stream and have a breeze that breezes through the leaves? Or sit by the promenade and have a breeze that gently blows through the leaves? Probably the breeze that gently blows through the leaves would be your preference.
PS. Please, consider my words and advice and wise considerations as a personal opinion, nothing else. I am no guru, and, unfortunately, I cannot, therefore, guarantee happiness (in wealth or marriage or happiness or mental health, whatever situation; if you are thinking about serious consequences, see a lawyer, please; my advice or words or jokes or whatever couldn’t in any way or form replace a thorough qualified legal opinion; act very, very wisely, please).
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I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog post, ’Torn Between Two Women? (Classic) Poetry Or Sedative Needed.’ The images are from the “Captiva Collection,” Wedding, Pregnancy People (1), and Romance by David Watson (I’ve got the copyright). All rights reserved.