In a bad relationship, the lack of communication can warn that there are visible signs your marriage is over, that your relationship is not working (as in unfunctional).
If your spouse doesn’t seem to mind about this and seems downright indifferent about it, it might be time to take action.
Do not focus on the negative aspects!
Breakup and divorce are hard enough, and you don’t need to add some extra pain to your challenged, domestic receipt…
Obvious signs your marriage is over. Don’t wait, plan something!
If a marriage is losing its spark, it is a sign that you should pay attention to.
It could mean that your matrimony is in trouble.
Most marriages go through this phase once in a while.
If you ignore it, your marriage is toast.
The first step is to take notice of your situation.
Take a moment and get an inventory of your relationship.
What have you been doing that just brought your spouse down? Don’t be shy and say, “I don’t know,” be honest. Also, be kind enough to state your faults.
If your spouse has something to say about something you have done, share what you have done, but don’t criticize your spouse. It is hard to get your spouse to open up about what he or she has done if the spouse is feeling defensive.
Result: asking for divorce!
- The relationship has run its course. If you’re having problems with your spouse, it’s not uncommon for you to feel like you have no option but to ask for a divorce. When you are married, it’s common to keep it together and work through the problems. It’s when you become divorced that it’s common for the marriage to hit a dead end. This is especially true when there is infidelity, where both partners have known for some time.
- The number of affairs increases or decreases. If you’re being sexually unfaithful, it may be that you just can’t keep up with the cheating and must ask for a divorce. If you’re having an affair but never cheated, it may be that you’re not willing to commit adultery. In either case, when the number of affairs stops, you likely ask for a divorce.
- You feel physically and emotionally drained. If you find yourself exhausted and unable to cope, it may be that the pressure of the marriage is weighing you down. It is usual for married people to feel overwhelmed by their relationships and find they have lost the capacity to manage or cope with their everyday life.
- There are problems with your kids. When kids are involved, both partners are affected. If you’re having problems with your kids, there is a strong chance that you will ask for a divorce. If you have been having issues with your spouse and it’s having an effect on your kids, there is a chance that you might leave.
- There is infidelity on both sides. In those cases where your partner has cheated on you, it’s very possible that you will ask for a divorce. This may be because you can’t handle the pressure of being betrayed or the sexual tension that needs to be addressed. In some cases, if there has been little or no effort on the part of the cheater to repair the marriage, you might leave as there is little hope for improvement. In this situation, the relationship might be too far gone. You will want to seek professional help to evaluate your options.
- You’re no longer attracted to your partner. If you are no longer sexually attracted to your spouse, there is a strong chance that you may ask for a divorce. The physical attraction you once had may have waned, but the emotional connection was still there. In those cases, if your spouse has cheated on you or is cheating, you must seek help and advice so that you can assess the possibilities of getting back together.
- Financial problems. When the couple runs into financial issues, there is a high probability that everything will end in a divorce. There are numerous, various signs your marriage is over.
The next step is to accept your mistakes.
For example, if you are not taking care of yourself, be willing to take action.
Go to the gym, get a fresh haircut, get a new dress, get a manicure.
Do something that you know will make you feel better about yourself.
Also, don’t be ashamed to say that you are sorry.
The third step is to forgive.
Again, this is a gradual process. If there has been a mistake, forgive, but don’t make it look like you are begging your spouse to let it go.
You don’t want your spouse to think you are that desperate (more interesting stuff here; click this link to find out).
Instead, offer some solution that will help your spouse. For example,
“Can we work through this issue?”, “Can we meet sometime to talk about this issue?”, “Can we try to do something else that will help us both get our needs met by eliminating this one issue that is bothering us?”
More on how to end an affair without losing your memorable bliss, here.
Many marriages can be saved, but many cannot.
If you see yourself in this situation, you should sit down and think through the options.
This will help you to conclude whether you should get help to save your marriage or leave it.
Doing so may be the lesser of two evils.
If you are in a destructive relationship, it’s not worth staying in.
It is better to make sure you get out than to linger and be miserable.
However, suppose your relationship is critical, and the choice is between leaving or staying.
In that case, there are certain factors you must evaluate to help you decide.
Factors to help you better evaluate your further steps.
- Are you in a destructive relationship? If it is destructive, then you must determine what you can do to improve your lot.
- Can you work things out between you? If the only way to make things better is to break up, you must decide whether it is worth staying in the relationship that destroys you.
- Do you love your partner? If your partner is not the same person you fell in love with, then it’s imperative that you determine what you can do to make your feelings return.
- Have you done everything you can to repair the damage? If the only way to make things better is to break up, you must decide whether to work things out with your partner.
- Will you try again if your partner is willing? This is the most crucial decision. If you find that you can change, try again and do everything you can to salvage your marriage.
- Are you prepared for divorce? If you are prepared for divorce, then you must determine whether you want to stay and get your life together or leave. These are only some of the factors that must be addressed when thinking of leaving your partner.
- Is there any perspective to solve the financial embarrassing situation? If the answer is yes, go on and try again to solve your marital problems.
What if your partner doesn’t react?
If your partner is not willing to make the decisions you must make to improve your lot, then you must be strong enough to deal with their unhappiness without them.
The thing that you find most problematic to deal with is your own happiness.
Most people choose to be unhappier than they would be if they had not chosen to be disappointed.
Therefore you must be prepared to be unhappy even if you make a reasonable faith effort to save your marriage.
When you are sad, it’s easier to shut out the other person. If you are not there when they call or visit, then they shut out you as well.
It is harder to deal with being alone.
Many women decide they cannot be happy alone, and they hang on to their husbands to make them happy. Even if it is not valid, it’s easier to stay by clinging to a man than leaving and facing being alone.
Most marriages were created in the excitement of love.
When there is unhappiness, it is a shock to both parties; these might be clear signs your marriage is over.
It can cause both partners to make decisions that increase sorrow.
If you have decided to leave, you must know what you must do now. You must realize that you have given your life to your partner, and they have taken theirs to make you happy.
Yours is a lifetime partnership to keep that comfortable feeling up.
You are partners in life’s journey to build a marriage and create happiness.
There is no partnership greater than that of a parent and child.
If you are leaving your partner, you must remember you are leaving the product of your union.
That product is you and your partner. In our day, we seem to have more trouble with our lives than with our spouses. That is a shame.
If you are leaving your partner, you need to give them your best shot.
Another perspective. How to know your marriage is (or isn’t) over.
After the evaluation period comes the time of decisions.
This is the period in which you have to try to bring back what used to make your marriage special, filled with love and passion.
For example, you should try to put a positive spin on things and make yourself appear as the picture of happiness.
The words “I am sorry” should be the kiss of death for your marriage.
I say this because you want to say it with a happy tone of voice, but your spouse will not believe you. You want to appear that you are sincere, but your spouse will think you are just saying it to keep him or her from leaving you.
Do not be harsh with yourself.
Instead, be happy with yourself. Put yourself in a comfortable place.
Also, realize that not everybody can be happy all of the time. Do not make yourself the enemy.
Always keep in mind that your spouse is not perfect.
Even though he or she may be at one point, they are still your spouse. At some point, they must have gone through tough times too.
They may have felt abandoned.
To them, you may have looked exactly like the person they were crying on the side of the highway, and yet, you were not. That is no fault of your own. They are just human. So, always keep that in mind.
The other thing that you should realize is that your marriage will go through bad times too (an interesting article on this topic, about marriage and couples, could be found here; click the link and it will open a new window in your pre-existing browser).
Show your appreciation for your spouse.
What you need to do is to show your appreciation for your spouse through good behavior.
Always consider that it is a two-way street.
You want to keep your spouse by your side.
Always remember that you do not wish for a thankless job.
If you do a thankless job, it will only get harder to keep your spouse by your side. Do a thankless job, and you will keep your spouse by your side.
The best way to start your day is to thank your spouse for everything.
Do a little something nice for your spouse.
It does not have to be a lot. But it will help to have a positive attitude.
It is helpful if you also tell your spouse how much you appreciate him or her for being there for you.
It makes life much easier. It also helps you to have a closer connection.
It is like you are living in the same house with a friend. It allows you to share the same space.
It does not mean that you have to give a thousand thanks for a single day.
This would only make you angry (more signs your marriage is over here; click the link).
You want to be generous with your gratitude and appreciation. You want to be generous with the time you spend with your spouse.
It is not good to think that you are spending your days in bed in today’s busy world.
Life is hectic, and so is marriage. Further signs that your marriage is ending.
You should find time to do things together.
Having good communication is a vital element in an enjoyable married life. You can have a wonderful married life by not nagging your spouse or grumbling over little things (avoiding the red flag moments and the emotional abuse should be a priority – read more here by clicking the link).
You can also help your spouse clean the house, cook, wash the clothes, do the laundry, etc. If you want to be remembered in your marriage, you have to make your spouse feel good.
If you want to be cherished in your marriage, you have to be generous with your thanks and appreciation.
It is a good habit to give a loving kiss or a hug in the morning before you leave for work. It is also a good habit to say “sorry” when you come back from work.
It is also a good habit to keep communication alive.
You can make your spouse feel good if you talk about what you have done.
You can say how happy you are to have shared a day with your spouse.
It is also good if you keep your senses open.
You can complement your spouse or say how sorry you are if you know that you have let him or her down. It makes your spouse feel good if you compliment them (more on warning signs and a healthy relationship with a good sex life to which you need to pay attention, here; click the link and it will open a new window in your existing browser).
You can also express your sadness when you see that you have not done things well.
Try the Art of Seduction again. Schedule dates with your spouse.
Marriages have challenges, but you can significantly improve your matrimony by making a few adjustments and making it even better than it was before.
When your marriage is troubled, when there are obvious signs your marriage is over, you may be worried about how to make it work.
The thing is, you have a lot of control over how to make it work.
You can restore the closeness, passion, and love you once felt with your spouse and make it grow once again.
You must give your spouse your undivided attention.
Do something together to spend alone time together.
This may include a simple walk in the park or an evening at a local movie.
Even if you can’t get out to the movies alone, you can watch movies together. Your giving your spouse your undivided attention may include a simple talk about your problems or issues.
Schedule a regular date night.
If you’re at home, you may want to schedule a regular date night. Make sure you have a date night before your spouse wants it.
If you’re going on a date with your spouse, make sure you choose a date that is mutually agreed upon.
Children involved – everything changes. Their interest comes first…
If you have kids, have them on a sleepover.
Have the kids stay in their room, and the parents go out.
With the kids, you will enjoy spending more time together without them running around trying to get your attention. As the kids watch, the parents bonding time together may increase.
As the kids get older, ask them what they want to do.
A few things to consider for kids’ sleepovers include:
Have you ever gone on a date? This is a date where you go to select a present for your kid. Make sure you select something they would enjoy. You can share a bottle of wine and select a movie.
Have you ever been to the circus? If so, ask the kids to do a series of twists and turns. If you have, make it a race. For example, if you had a choice between the elephant or the cheetah, select the cheetah. Make sure you do it as quickly as possible. The faster you do it, the faster you finish.
Here is a suggestion for family dates.
If you have 3 kids, then spend a Saturday morning together without the kids having to go to school. If your kids have school schedules on Sundays, fill the other 2 Sundays together with their parents.
Make sure you have plenty of time for yourself and the kids. If you want to take the whole family to a new restaurant, then choose a nice one.
If you’re the parent, schedule some family time in your schedule. Have some family time for the couple alone.
It may not be every week. It may be every other week or every month.
But, having time together every week is good for both of you.
Some ways you can make it a priority for everyone might include the following…
It’s nice to have a date night once in a while.
If you have kids, it can be a struggle.
But, this can be made easier if you get the whole family together for something together.
It doesn’t have to be every week. But, if you do it together, you’ll be able to do more together.
If you’re single, try your hand at a date night. It will probably be a struggle to make it happen every week.
But, it can be a lot more fun and enjoyable if you give it your best shot.
Some things you can do for a date night include:
- Go for a walk.
- Play a sport together.
- Go for a ride through the city.
- Learn some fun facts together.
- Learn about each other’s religions and beliefs.
- Play a board game together.
- Learn the alphabet together.
- Have an in-home visit.
Date night is an excellent opportunity for you and your spouse to develop a deeper understanding.
If you feel more connected to your partner, then you feel closer to one another.
You will be able to stay more intimate for a more extended period, which in turn, will lead to a stronger relationship.
Your relationship will be strengthened with a greater understanding of each other.
When you and your spouse can be honest with each other, you will feel more comfortable talking about the problems in your relationship. When you can speak honestly about your feelings, you will feel closer and more effective at solving problems.
Your relationship will be cemented by having a great sex life.
When you and your partner are having a good time with one another, you will be able to work through any difficulties that arise and grow a great marriage.
Your relationship will grow and become stronger and the worrying signs your marriage is over will slowly dissipate.
What could be better than that!
Frequently Asked Questions
There are several things that a couple needs to do before they can even think of filing for divorce. The first is to realize that their marriage is a business arrangement and should be run as a business. You may even have businesses together. But you have to stop thinking of business as a business and think of it as a relationship. Well, think about any signs of marriage over. Is there a lack of physical intimacy or problems of mental health? Is one partner not willing to spend time at home? Is any domestic violence while living together (it’s a serious thing you should care about)? Yes, marriage counseling might be one thing over time. But what if your partner says NO?
Suppose you are in a relationship and wonder where the warning signs – signs your marriage is over – are in a relationship. In that case, you are in a difficult spot because the symptoms are subtle and may not be present at all.
Did your spouse mention being unhappy recently? Do they seem to be trying to avoid you, or do you get the feeling that they want to break up? If they have done any of the above, and they do, you need to act quickly.
Often, people start to think they are over their marriage when they are having communication problems, personal problems, or financial problems. They begin to lose faith in their spouse and start to get worried that it’s all going to waste. They begin to think that this isn’t the person they used to love. And a lot of times, they start to have thoughts of separating or getting a divorce.
I’m talking about the intense passion that can develop after years of marriage. I’m not talking about the little crush that develops once in a while when you’re in the process of organizing the dinner menu or something (wink, wink). Yes, they do. Yes, these could lead to a potential marriage break-up.
PS. Please, consider my words and advice as a personal opinion. I am no guru, and, unfortunately, I cannot guarantee happiness (in wealth or marriage or happiness, whatever situation; if you are thinking about serious consequences, please, see a lawyer; my advice or words or jokes or whatever couldn’t in any way replace a thorough qualified legal opinion; act very wisely, please).
Disclaimers. All rights reserved. I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog post, ’7 Signs Your Marriage Is Over – The Agonizing Downfall’. The photos were used from the “Captiva Collection,” Wedding, Pregnancy People (1), and Romance by David Watson (I’ve got the copyright); two images are from Pixabay, signed by LauritaM and Marcelo Russo de Oliveira.
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