The technique of “how to save a marriage that is falling apart” needs dealing with very subtle, cunning, and thorough planning. You don’t just start yelling at your partner and crying that you don’t want your marriage falling apart.
It is a matter of secrecy and communication, of focusing on things and memories to keep the couple together, and, most importantly, a positive attitude.
In this a little bit too long article, I have written about tips and steps, maps and quotes, positive and negative, about astute planning.
Please, use it with care and do not judge me with extreme severity. Maybe my experience and communication skills do not always perform very well.
Learning how to save your marriage | Here are several tips on how to be successful.
01. When you have a plan, keep it a secret.
If your ex-girlfriend, ex-boyfriend, ex-wife, ex-husband, or ex-fiance sees that you have a plan, it will give them something to help them remember why they fell in love with you in the first place.
What this strategy will do is allow you to have a considerable advantage over all others. This situation will not get better until you share the secret with them, at least once.
02. When you have a plan, communicate regularly.
When you’re feeling confused and unsure, it is complicated to keep track of what is happening.
You need to communicate with each other regularly. The less you are afraid to talk to each other, the more you will be able to overcome the hurt and frustration you are feeling.
03. When you have a plan, focus on the positive.
When you are feeling negative, you will focus on the negative and think negative thoughts.
When you are focused on the positive, it will be easier for you to keep positive and overcome negative thoughts.
04. When you have a plan, do things together.
When you are feeling down, it is challenging to do something together. You will tend to think of things together that you will do together. When you are focusing on things together, it will allow you to keep up with each other.
The things you are doing together will make it easier for you to discuss and work out problems.
Communication is the key to saving your marriage. The plan does not require you to be able to do everything. If both you and your partner want to focus on working on the plan, then great.
It will make it easier for you to keep talking and working out the problems. Remember, the key to the plan is communication.
You will find that if you focus on communicating, it will be easier for you to keep working together to find a solution.
05. When you have a plan, remember the things you did together.
Do you remember the day you decided to save your marriage? It was a tough time, but the love you shared was able to keep you going.
Did you think that it would be impossible to save your marriage?
You will need to focus on positive thinking and believe that you can keep your marriage.
There are many reasons why marriages fail. They fail because they have not implemented the plan, they fail because of lack of communication, they fail because of the problems that come up. The key is to focus on the agenda and believe that you can save your marriage.
If you wish to know more exciting and valuable stuff on how to preserve your marriage and/or making your relationship work, click this link.
The plan works because you are focusing on the positive and not on the problem that arises. Focusing on the issue will become more prominent in your mind and make it harder to deal with.
It will make you harmful, and you will not be able to see the positive in life.
For example, if you were thinking about negative things lately, you will not be able to consider the positive. For instance, you will not be able to appreciate beautiful things that happen around you.
If this is your case, you will become a negative person because you will not enjoy the things around you.
However, in this case, the problem that came up should be dealt with. You will need to focus on the plan and not on the situation that has arisen. You will need to concentrate on the positive things in life that came up around you, such as the sunshine. You will be able to enjoy the life that you have been savoring.
06. When you have a plan, you will need to concentrate on the positive.
So, to learn how to save your marriage, you will need to concentrate on the positive and believe that you can save your marriage.
Keep on feeling that you can enjoy the marriage that you have.
Never forget that the plan you have been implemented has helped many other unions that have been broken. This is what will help you save your marriage.
Saving your marriage may require patience, understanding, caring, and faithfulness.
How to save your marriage after separation…
Now I know that the idea of using a plan may not sound appealing right now, but it does work. It worked in rocky relationships, and it will work in your current relationship as well.
The first step to getting back together after a breakup is to admit the truth.
It is time to look in the mirror. It is time to see the person who you used to be. The person you were may very well be the same person you are now and the same person who is now broke, lonely, and suffering.
This is not helplessness, but you need some help. This person is also going through a tough time and requires some support, but is not helpless.
The second step to getting back together after a breakup is to take responsibility.
This person, your ex, also needs to be in charge of the situation. If you want to get back together, you have to go all-in for the relationship and start working to make it work.
Your ex may or may not like that attitude, but this is what you have to do. When your ex sees your effort to save your relationship, they will also know that you are trying to keep the relationship.
If your ex sees the hard-working, strong, and responsible side of you, they will also know that you are still all in for the relationship.
This may or may not work. But either way, you will be happier.
The third step to getting back together after a breakup is to accept the reality.
Your ex may or may not get back together with you.
But I hope they will understand that they made a huge mistake, a mistake that is hard to recoup, but very hard to go back without the support of your ex.
The reality is that the relationship can not be saved by one person.
Still, both of you need to work with the one person who initially decided to end the relationship.
The fourth step to getting back together is to be friendly to your ex.
You must be friendly to your ex. It would be best if you showed them that they made a mistake or you made a mistake, possibly. You need to show them love and respect (more on this fascinating matter in another blog post of mine; access it by clicking the link).
Even though you may feel that they deserve it, the reality is that they do not, so you have to be fair and lovely.
The fifth step to getting back together is always to try to understand your partner’s needs.
It would be best if you always tried to understand their needs. Even if you think it is unfair or too much, you have to be friendly to the ex. The reason is that you never know what the future holds.
So you have to try to be as considerate as you can to the ex so that they can get back together with you.
It is crucial that the ex come back to you. But it is also vital that you don’t ignore reality. You have to see your relationship from a broader perspective.
The reason is that the relationship has been cut off from your daily life for a long time. So there are bound to be misunderstandings.
The reality is that the relationship will not die, and the relationship has to be revived. The reason is that you never know what the future holds, so you have to be prepared.
The above are just some of the aspects of the relationship that you have to be aware of. There are many more that I have left out. But they are not all that critical (more on this challenging stuff, here and here; click the links, and they will open new tabs in your pre-existing browser)
How to save a marriage that is falling apart.
Until now, I have written mainly about love and passion. The other term that deserves a lot of attention might be affection.
The description of affection varies from one person to the next.
Still, I think all of us can agree that we feel affection for someone with whom we share deep feelings of love and care. We also agree that someone fond of you and puts your best interest first should have our affection.
A good example is a girlfriend or boyfriend who does something for you or makes you feel good, at least in some ways, without any expectation of anything in return.
It is the affection that is love (or, better said, turns into love).
The term desire is probably the most common. It is the word most people use when they say they want to be with someone, at least in some ways. When we say that we want to be with someone, we are probably using this term to mean we want this person to become the type of person we are longing to be with.
So, for example, someone may say they want to date. Still, they really mean they want to become one of those beautiful, exciting, romantic people we see in magazines and movies. On the other hand, being in a relationship is looking forward to the relationship to take action to make it work.
The desire to have the relationship become one of love is a deep, caring, more intense love than the romantic love we usually talk about.
These definitions are pretty good. They are neutral concerning the intended purpose and result. They are good enough to understand what people mean when they say they want to be with someone.
The problem is that they are not good enough to define the situation. We have no clue as to what other people are saying when they use these terms.
They may be discussing the same person or different persons. They may mean completely different things by these words. For example, one person may want to date, and the other person wants to have a physical relationship. The two terms mean entirely different things to two different people.
This is where the problem with these terms stems. To solve the problem of conflicting or confusing sentences, we have to be able to talk about situations.
The most common situation described in conversation is that of “wanting” and “having.” I might say to someone, “I want to be happy,” and they will usually respond with something like, “Me too, but I am scared to death to follow through because I don’t know if I’m going to be happy.”
How to fix a relationship that’s falling apart. Is there any hope left?
Now, I am not saying the people are lying or don’t have the right to their feelings and desires. They do. But, the problem is, how do we talk about wanting to be happy so that it doesn’t sound like we are looking for an “other” to fulfill our feelings?
And, how do we talk about having feelings and desires and not sound like we are asking for permission to feel those things?
In the same vein, when we hear someone say, “I feel like she doesn’t love me anymore,” we tend just to think they are describing a specific situation that has a clear name, like “falling in love” or “falling out of love.”
But, falling in love has a lot to do with wanting. When we hear someone say, “I feel like she doesn’t love me anymore,” we tend to think that they mean they are no longer feeling anything for the person.
They are just looking for approval or validation. But, if we look at it, we can see that is not the case at all. They are just trying to describe how they feel without naming what the actual feelings are.
And, this is really the crux of the enigma.
We just have guesses or assumptions.
Since the person isn’t naming the emotions, we can’t really go in and figure out what the actual feelings are. We just have guesses or assumptions.
And, we might assume that they are no longer feeling anything for the person when they have been depressed or feeling detached for some time.
Since we can’t figure out what they are feeling and if it’s for the person or the marriage, we can’t fix the marriage. We can try to make some changes to get them to feel more toward us and the relationship. Still, it isn’t straightforward to do these things when they aren’t sure if they’re feeling anything for the person.
So, that leaves us with two choices. We can try to make the person feel what they’re feeling, or we can sit and hope they change themselves. Unfortunately, it seems that the only option that is available to us.
The person must change themselves first, or they cannot change us.
How sad! It’s no wonder we’ve become so discouraged. Since the person has no idea whether they are still feeling the feelings or not, the only option available to them is to change themselves.
- We can change the circumstances.
- We can try to make the person feel what they’re feeling or talk ourselves out of our worry.
- We can try to convince ourselves that things will work out.
What to do when your marriage is falling apart?
We can’t always rely on our effort to change, though. We can’t perpetually rely on our skills.
Sometimes, we need outside help. We need help from people who have gone through what we are going through and are going through now.
We need help from a coach, therapist, or relationship expert. These people have seen hundreds of people go through the same situation as we are going through.
They know how to focus on the present and not worry about the future. They know how to tell us not to worry or remind us that our marriage can be saved.
Relationships are tough, but they can be rescued if you are willing to work at them.
There are many ways to save your marriage. The first thing you have to do is recognize the problems in your marriage, then decide whether you’re willing to work on the issues.
If you are, you’ll need the help of a relationship expert.
How to save a marriage that is falling apart. Primary Relationship With Someone New And A Bit On The Rough Side?
Well, over time, in a healthy relationship, marriage problems or marriage work sometimes happen. A husband and the spouse don’t leave apart, and sometimes, as they work together and do backbreaking work, issues arise, and they need to pay attention. It’s not yet a matter of a broken marriage.
However, married couples and falling apart couples sometimes need marriage counseling and a marriage counselor. A marriage falling apart is often not a surprising thing to see.
The issues of identity and seeking attention are what separate a spouse from a primary partner. The spouse is the person who is taking care of the household, taking care of the kids, taking care of family, and has an identity in terms of family, people, activities, and location. The primary relationship is the one with God, spouse, and family.
From my own experience, I have learned that the more relationships you have, the more opportunities you have for the other person to enter your life. The better your background, the better your chances. That does not mean that people without prior relationships or awful past experiences are doomed to repeat the same mistakes. That would be impossible to achieve.
What it means is that if you seek an affair, you are more likely to get it again. The person you choose should be someone you can deal with.
Do not get into a relationship with emotionally or sexually incompatible people.
If you are unhappy with the person you had an affair with, you had better change the primary relationship.
If you do not want to change the primary relationship, you need to have a prior relationship with someone new.
It is wise to seek a relationship with someone new when you have already established some prior relationships.
As we all know, a primary relationship generally takes some time. You will know it is a close relationship when you are attracted to someone as new as your spouse. As we all know, this could take some time.
It takes time for the latest person to make their mark on you, and you will know it when it happens. You will know that your spouse has become an imposter.
The Imposter Is Playing With Your Heart!
The longer you are in a relationship with the same person, the more chance you have of the new relationship taking over.
You will know when it occurs because you will not be attracted to your spouse anymore, and you will start to search for someone new. When you are in a primary relationship with your spouse, you will find that you are attracted to someone new because you are attracted to this person who fits your personality and values.
I can guarantee you that there are no imposters in the world. There are always secondary relationships, some more legitimate than others, but imposter is a loaded term. No relationship is an imposter, but you have to know that your relationship has some issues that make you think that there is an imposter in it. The imposter has to have some problem that you are not experiencing.
Suppose you are attracted to someone new in your primary relationship. In that case, the prior relationship has imposter issues that have to be addressed.
You need to identify those issues and see if you can overcome those issues. To that end, you need to build a new primary relationship with someone new.
If you are unhappy with the person in your direct relationship, you should look for new love in the world.
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PS. Please, consider my ‘wise‘ considerations cum grano salis. They are nothing else than personal opinions. I am no guru, and, unfortunately, I cannot, therefore, guarantee happiness (in wealth or marriage or couple relationship or happiness or mental health, whatever situation). If you are planning some severe consequences, see a lawyer, please; my advice or words or jokes or whatever couldn’t in any way or form replace a thorough qualified legal opinion; act very wisely, please.
I hope you have greatly enjoyed reading my blog post,’ How To Save Your Marriage By Yourself | Make a Clever Plan.’ All the images are from Unsplash. A great thanks to the authors Beatriz Pérez Moya, Photos by Lanty, Samantha Gades, Heather Mount, Freestocks, and One zone Studio for their unique art. The Instagram image is from the volume ‘Quotes ‘by David Watson (I’ve got the copyright). All rights reserved.