Suppose you are the only single person in a community of couples — it’s tough being the single friend in a couples world. If you have chosen to be and stay single, if you are a divorced person, in a couples world, you will be confronted with specific problems.
How will these couples perceive you?
How will these people understand you?
If there are on the brink of divorce couples or solid ones, you will face a lot of problems.
You might sometimes feel as being the third wheel when you are the last single one in your friend group.
Think about it…
Singles in a couples world. Maybe you are fed up being single…
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When a relationship is at an end, and the couple wants to get back together, the first thing they want to do is clear up the past.
The partners might talk about “moving on” or “moving on with each other.”
This means they’re ready to move on emotionally and on in their lives, to move on as a couple.
This could take a few months, or it could be a few years. There is no hurry, and it is the partner who is ready to take the next step and move on as a couple.
You can see signs that they’re moving on emotionally.
There might be a change in their interests, spending time together, or some other activity.
If they’ve been in communication with you for a few months, you might expect them to talk about you and your past with the hope of getting rid of the past.
You can see that this has happened if the topic of conversation is “moving on.”
But how do you act on what you’ve seen?
The partners will start with the present and work from there.
If you haven’t been in touch since the relationship (or the relationships) ended, the next step is to set up how best to contact you.
It could be sending texts, emails, chatting on the phone, meeting in person, or doing something else to get in touch with you.
The most reliable way to get the hang of what you would do if you were in their shoes is to sit down with them and talk it through.
Don’t rush; sit down and really think it through.
Do it within a few days, and if you have good clarity, you can move on to the next step of seeing if you’re compatible.
Don’t rush; don’t rush. But I’ve worryingly read, “I am 21 and never had a girlfriend. I get depressed seeing almost everyone committed. Is it normal?”
If the couple feels they’re compatible, it could be months before you see another moment’s face-to-face time.
You’ll never know if you’re really clear about the situation.
You could be moving a lot slower than the couple wanted.
You’ll get better at this as you go if you haven’t spoken for a while, you can see them at events or a concert or the theatre.
These places of friend gathering and dating are great.
If you see a couple and you’re keen, give them a call, send them a text, and start up a conversation.
If you’re getting on excellent with someone, then drop them a text.
If not, see if you can meet in person.
If it’s possible to meet face to face, there’s a good chance you’ll get things moving fast (beware of any toxic relationship).
At first, the couple will be cautious.
Don’t force your relationship.
They’ll be supportive of you.
If you go for it, the couple will be behind you.
Remember, you have to be yourself. You have to be supportive of yourself.
Let me extract here a fascinating quote from an excellent article:
“With these ever-so-slight and unintentional downfalls come oh-so-many positive privileges that will have your coupled-up friends biting their relationship nails to dust in utter envy.
There is no need to give up on searching for that romance, I must add, as a romantic relationship may not be something you need, but it also isn’t something you should exclude from your life unless that’s what will make you happy.
All I’m saying is to enjoy the process of finding it, because there are so many perks and joyful parts to this ride you are on — no matter how long you’re on it for. No risk of car sickness on this trip. “
Do you have a good life? Do you feel supported?
Do you have your own financial means?
Is what you’re doing making you happy?
Are you proud of what you’re doing?
If all the above, then this couple is with you. If not, then they’re all about you.
And if all the above and things are not good, things need to change.
Suppose your own happiness is not being supported, or you are not respected or the main focus of someone’s life.
In that case, you need to be true to yourself, find your own happiness.
If you are happy at your job and you have good prospects in your career, then you’ll find great people at your workplace.
Find a friend you can support yourself and be yourself, and you’ll see potential in others.
Find a boss that is supportive of you, and you’ll see great people gravitate towards you.
Find people that don’t want you around because of what you do for them, and it won’t be long before they don’t want you around at all.
Find the people that don’t like your company, and it’ll be hard to see a happy workplace.
Find someone that likes you, and it’s easy to see how it’ll be easy to be satisfied.
There are plenty of situations, and situations lead to couples in which you can find someone.
So you have to learn how to become the happy person that you want to be with yourself.
Don’t be so single-minded that your own happiness comes second to someone else (another interesting article is here).
Being the single friend out there is not easy. Remember that your happiness is paramount.
And not just to you.
It’s essential to all the people you know.
You need to find the joy that is important to you and stick to it.
Work on the basis that your own happiness is essential, then it’s easy to become happy.
But your own happiness will indeed improve if you can get someone to come and be with you.
You’ll feel better. You’ll have someone to discuss and discuss, and then when you’re happy with your own state, you can start working on other people.
And it would help if you worked on the basis that it’s better to have someone around.
If you don’t have anyone to discuss it with and discuss it with someone else.
Because when you get everyone to agree with one point, you’ll start to see the positives that your current state has to offer.
There are plenty of times when you might find it necessary to work on the basis that you’re not unhappy with your state.
For instance, if you’re currently married and you’re about to enter into a second marriage.
You’re now prepared to enter into a second marriage if this is your well-thought decision.
I guess it’s the same sort of thing going on if you are now in a third marriage; supposedly you are fed up not being the single friend around there anymore (read more interesting stuff here; click the link and it will open a new window in your browser).
But then, when you leave the third marriage, what’s going to be different?
Not so much that you’re not happy but instead that you’re satisfied with somebody else.
Your own happiness grows only when you work based on being single.
I guess the way to look at it is that if you’re currently single, then that’s the best state for you to be in.
Because that’s what gives you the most ability to attract the best possible life.
Then see if you can start to move forward.
Frequently Asked Questions
When I started a new job in my early twenties, I remember looking around and asking myself if I was crazy to be single. My new boss used to laugh when I said I was single, as though I was stupid. I wasn’t stupid, I just chose not to get married, and my new boss didn’t care one way or the other.
You get up in the morning, put on a smile, put on a new outfit, and head out the door. You are beautiful at your core. You have your husband’s eyes, hands, hair, personality, and body. But he doesn’t see it, and he doesn’t love it. Now you’re a shell of yourself.
It doesn’t mean that, but it does suggest that you have some exciting decisions to make. I’m not going to blame you or blame you for your friend’s decision to call you like this or even quit the friendship. You are the one who is in control of your actions. If you want to keep your best friend and believe that this friendship is important to you, you need to be willing to talk about it. Insist upon it. Being a single friend around there might not be very easy…
That’s the question most couples ask once they get married. They don’t want to spend their lives together. They want to spend the next 20 years doing something else. They want to get away, have an adventure, spend time apart, be free, or be single.
Even if you are not married and single by choice, you will be lonely once you lose your girlfriend. It is normal, and you will feel lonely all over again. You will feel lonely in your heart, head, stomach, hands, and arms.
Maria
PS. Please, consider my words and advice as a personal opinion. I am no guru, and, unfortunately, I cannot guarantee happiness (in wealth or marriage, whatever situation; sincerely hoping that they are coming back to you soon or maybe never. If you are thinking about serious consequences, please, see a lawyer; my advice or words or jokes or whatever couldn’t in any way replace a thorough qualified legal opinion; please, act very wisely).
Disclaimers. All rights reserved. I hope you have enjoyed reading my blog post, ’Being The Single Friend In A Couples World May Be Difficult.’ All photos were used from the “Captiva Collection,” Wedding, Pregnancy People (1), and Romance by David Watson (I’ve got the copyright). The featured image is from Canva; a great thanks to everyone for their work! If you could give me a Twitter share, a Youtube, Instagram, or a Facebook share or other social media, it would help a lot! An affiliate disclosure is on the disclaimer page, showing that I might make a small commission if you buy through my links at no price increase for you or anyone.
